Strong enough to care

A few weeks ago, an email arrived from a mother with no connection to St Augustine's College.

Her daughter had been struggling with her bike on a Saturday afternoon when a group of our boys noticed and came over without being asked. They sorted the bike, offered some encouragement, and quietly moved on.

There was no audience. No reward. No expectation of recognition.

She felt compelled to write anyway. Part of her email read:

"In an era where 'toxic masculinity' is everywhere, it was so heartwarming to meet such fine young men embodying real masculinity. They are a credit to their school and their families."

It's the kind of note that stays with you.

Not because it's unusual for our boys to behave this way, but because it's a reminder of what good character looks like in practice. Not in a formal setting, not when anyone important is watching. On a bike path, on a Saturday, when there was nothing to gain.

Character tends to show up in those moments.

There's a lot of noise right now about boys, masculinity, and what schools should be doing differently. Most of it focuses on what's going wrong. What gets less attention is the research suggesting that most boys are actively pushing back against narrow ideas of masculinity themselves. They want connection, trust, and relationships built on something real. The problem isn't what boys value. It's whether they're given environments where those values are consistently reinforced.

That's not a complicated formula. But it takes time, and it doesn't photograph well.

At the College we think about this a lot, and it shapes how we approach everything from classroom relationships to our AWE (Augustinian Wellbeing in Education) framework. The goal isn't just academic results, or success in sport and co-curricular life, though those matter. It's helping boys develop the judgement to know when someone needs help, the courage to step forward, and the humility to do it without making a fuss.

Boys flourish when courage and care aren't treated as opposites. Our College exists, in part, to make sure they aren't.

That's what we're working towards. And on the evidence of one Saturday afternoon, it seems to be taking hold.

The boys, in their own voice

Positive masculinity is what we mean by a young man of heart: a boy who's strong enough to be kind, and secure enough to show it. Raising boys to become that kind of man has never been more talked about, or more contested.

We asked a group of our boys to give voice to what that can look like through a poem that had already struck a chord with hundreds of thousands of people. Written by the Irish writer Daragh Fleming, “If I Ever Have Boys” reimagines what a "dangerous man" might be: not someone hardened and silent, but someone strong enough to feel, to care, to speak up, and to understand that vulnerability is a form of strength.